Celebrating Me

Archive for February 2009

Being the good samaritan I am, I’ve decided to share with you some of the most terrifying moments of my life with the purpose of hoping  you guys learn from my mistakes. Please. Don’t thank me.

Okay, these stories not exactly the gruesome gruesome type with all the blood and gore. It’s another type of gruesomeness. Something like fear factor gruesomeness. Read on and you’ll know why. Keep in mind that these are true stories experienced first hand by me.

Here goes…

Story #1

When I was 16, I shifted to Kampar and found a new crave: Oreos! So I bought a packet of Oreos from Watsons and hid it in my room. I didn’t want my humongously huge number of siblings gobbling up my favorite type of cookie. I was really a sucker for Oreos last time and I’d always salivate over it before falling to sleep last time.

After I was certain that my siblings weren’t snooping around my room, I opened up the packet, plopped myself down on the bed, took out a book and munched on an Oreo cookie.

As I ate the cookie, some Oreo crumbs fell on the bed. I picked them up and ate them as they fell. After a few cookies later, I noticed a big piece of cookie crumb on the bed that I had missed out. So in it went into my mouth when suddenly, my tongue registered a peculiar taste from the crumb. It was crunchy alright, but it was quite tasteless and hard. I shrugged and continued munching it.

I spat it out after chewing half of it and to my horror, it was a freaking piece of rat shit!

Even more horrifying, I didn’t mind at all and ate the rest of it in one fell swoop!

Okay, okay, the last sentence was just a joke. ROTFL!!! I didn’t eat the rest of it. I rushed to the sink mentally screaming (I couldn’t scream out loud, if not my siblings would know that I have half a packet of Oreos left), gargled a gazzilion times, promised myself to look at what I put into my mouth the next time and vowed to share my cookies with my siblings (a vow which was broken as soon as it was made).

The moral of the story is rat shits don’t taste that bad. LOL!!! Okay, okay, (serious face) make sure you know how to differentiate between a cookie crumb and a rat shit. That’s the best advice I can give you, so apply it not only to cookie crumbs but to other varieties of crumbs too.

Story #2

This happened when I was 15, a year before the terrifying story above. I was still living in KL at that time. One day, my mom baked my favorite chocolate cake, Crazy Cake. This cake is still one of my favorite cakes today and it’s really easy to make. It’s so damn chocolatey and moist and nice and delicious and sweet and … that’s besides the point.

Anyway, I always have a tendency of bringing food in my room. So I brought a piece (or was it 4 pieces?) of cake up to my room. I opened my maths book and savoured the cake bit by bit. After a while, I was stuffing huge chunks of cake into my mouth, resulting in lots of crumbs falling on the table and on the floor. As usual, everytime big crumbs fell, I’d pick it up and ate it right back.

Now, history repeated itself again (more like the future cuz I’m a year younger than the first story…you know what I mean). From the corner of my eye, I saw a big chunk of cake on the floor. I picked it up and chewed it. You know how cakes are supposed to be moist and soft right? Strange, I thought. Why is this piece crunchy and why does it taste bland?

I spat it out and to my utter delight, alright, to my utter disgust, there lay on my hand a disfigured, maniacally chewed up cockroach! If I remembered correctly, its antennas were still wriggling! Woah! Cool man!

Immeadiately, I hurled it to the floor and this time, I didn’t mentally scream. Instead, I let out a long-drawn out cry.  I didn’t run screaming to the toilet though. After 10 seconds of screaming which shook the whole fat neighbourhood, I just sat there looking at the poor cockroach. *sniff*

Moral of the story is that when I was 16, I clearly didn’t learn my lesson when I was 15. My advice to you is that munching on live cockroaches are bad enough, so don’t go eating rat shits. Thank you.

***

Eh…I tell you something ah. When I was chomping the cockroach, there was no blood wei. Good thing. If I were eating a live hamster or something, than damn it. Actually, the cockroach was quite crunchy. I think if you added some salt and sugar, it’ll taste quite succulent. The exoskeleton of the cockroach can be used to make crackers crunchier ya know. HARHAR…joking la. I despise eating cockroaches in whatever way it’s presented to me. In nerdy terms: I’m pulling your leg!

p.s. I haven’t eaten anything sickening the whole of my 17th year! *so proud*

p.s.s. Please don’t run away from me the next time you see me. Thanks.

Advertisements

I can’t believe my brother even had the nerve to tell my friend that I sleep and eat like a pig all day! Grrr… who’s the one who has to do all the freaking chores huh?

Let me tell you about my day today.

I woke in the morning (duh), folded a mountain of clothes (8 people’s clothing + my siblings clothing from their chess trip), mopped downstairs, did other miscellaneous chores and helped my mother with the baby.

Afterwards, it rained. So I had to push in the clothes. Then it stopped. I pushed out the clothes. Then it freaking rained again! Omigosh … is somebody up there trying to punish me?

Later, my dad took my baby sister out for a walk. The toddler of the house (my second sister) naturally wanted to follow. Okay, so follow la. While I was having breakfast, I heard my second sister’s oh-so-common cries at the back of the house. She was having one of her hysterical tantrum-throwing sessions again.

That session lasted for a good one hour plus. Along with it, was my baby sister’s crying, crying from the children in the back house (those kids there always cry…god knows why), shouts from the kids’ mother and the siren of the ambulance outside. It was chaos!

I couldn’t even give my sister a piece of my mind, least my dad would give me a piece of his mind. At last my mom told off my sister with her all mighty mother powers. A few whimpers and lectures later, everything settled down.

Aaah…the beautiful sound of silence. You’ve got to experience total chaos before appreaciating peace ya’ know.

Now, it’s 1.08 PM and I just received a letter from my aunt in Singapore. Afterwards, I’m going down to make my own lunch. Normally, during the second half of the day, I’d be cooped up with a good book or at the computer if I have something to write about (pc games bore me already). Or snack. Okay, okay. So I do tend to overindulge a lil’ bit. Is that a crime?

Usually, it’s in the morning which is the busiest time of the day. And in some cases, at night, when the whole big family is together.

So the purpose of this post is to refute my brother’s claims of me being a pig at home. Haha…haha… Case closed.

***

Aww, man… why am I squeezing the clothes 3 times a day?? I’m tired. Bone-tired.

 

Tags:

Thanks for the baby wishes friends!

 ***

You know one thing that’s cool when your mother just gave birth? Phoncalls day in, day out from well-wishers and receiving lots of “baby gifts” from relatives. Makes us feel important ya’ know. heehee…

Anyway, my aunt and cousin from KL visited us two days ago to give well-wishes to my mum and the new baby. Yay! It was a fun-filled day especially since my mother was discharged from the hospital on that day too.

We had a really good time together. It’s been some time since I saw my aunt and cousin, so I really enjoyed the visit. All of us had a blast.

While the adults discussed incomprehensible topics of the adult world, the younger bunch scooted off upstairs to the “play area”. We attempted splits, handstand, bridges and cartwheels resulting in bangs, thuds and crashes (and also a few cries of agony). The whole floor shook so much that the adults might have thought there was a herd of cows upstairs. There were also a few torn muscles afterwards … kidding.

We then played blinfold, albeit having 4 teenagers in the group, subsequently uprooting pillows and blankets in the boys’ room. I pity my brothers though. Unless they cleaned up their room (which I highly doubt it), they probably slept on beds with dozens of black footprints (we didn’t wash our feet after dinner) and splatters of sweat. LOL…

Then all of us (my brothers especially) did comical impersonations of movie star. We were clowns for the night. We shared sick jokes too. Here’s one hilariously sick chinese joke:

One day, a small boy was bathing with his mother, presumably in a river.

“Mama, na ge shi shen me?” asks the boy.
(Mother, what is that?)

“Na ge shi ping guo,” replies the mother.
(That’s an apple)

The following day, the boy goes bathing with his dad.

“Papa, na ge shi shen me?” the boy asks again.
(Dad, what is that?)

 “Na ge shi chong,” answers the father.
(That’s a worm)

The next night, the small boy couldn’t sleep because he was distracted by certain noises from his parents’ room. So he opened their bedroom door and saw a sight in which he exclaimed, “Papa de chong zai chi mama de ping guo!”(Dad’s worm is eating Mom’s apple!) Get it?? ROTFL!!!

Luckily my 10 year old sister was sleeping by then. I suppose during the sick jokes session, she didn’t understand half the things we were telling. Good thing too. She’s way too young to figure out the metaphors of the jokes.

Anyway, we all had one thing in mind that night. Sleep as late as we could. How did we fare?

12 midnight and we were all burnt out. The moment I hit the bed, I was off like a light. I suppose the Fong blood-line has a built-in “sleep early” chip embedded into our motherbrain. I mean, it was 11.58 pm and I felt like it was already 2 am.

The next day, Sims 2 and racing games dominated the whole morning. (Brunch time actually. We woke up pretty late.) My cousin is seriously obsessed about Sims 2. She wouldn’t budge from the computer until they had to go back to KL which was a few hours later.

Anyway, my grandpa and my other aunt are visiting us next month! Yay! I can’t wait to meet my grandfather. Right now, the whole family is relishing the newcomer. Slurp, smack! Hehehe…

Tags:

My mother just gave birth today (19th February) and I’ve got a new sister! Yippee!!

Aahh… I love my family…

You know what? For a few nights, I had dreams that the baby would be a girl. Although many signs pointed to a boy (pointy tummy etc.), it did turn out to be a girl! Told you I’m psychic.

Oh, and guess where my mum delivered? In the ambulance! Lots happened today because there were certain “complications”. Drama, people! We were all quite worried for a while. I won’t bother you with the details but everything went well in the end. My mother looked quite strong when we were visiting her.

And the baby is so cute! She looked so calm and oblivious to the world around her. For a baby, she’s pretty heavy too. 3.75 kg! The heaviest of all us kids. I was the second heaviest weighing in at 3.5 kg.We haven’t thought of the baby’s name yet though.

All I can say is, this baby’s the next most exciting delivery after me (I was the first child, so my family had every right to be hyped up…lol). I’ve got 3 sisters now! Omigosh…I’m so excited! I can’t wait for my mother to be discharged from the hospital already.

Although it’s thrilling to have a new family member, I hope this would be my parents’ last child. I mean, I’m 18 years apart from her! Anymore brothers or sisters, and they might just call me auntie. Gosh…I’ve got a mission to stay young (ahem) so that I won’t be mistaken as the mother of some of my siblings. 

Now this family has 6 kids altogether. 4 girls, 2 boys. We’re one heck of a tribe! Anyone else care to join? Hehe…At times like these, I just love my big family!

Oh shucks… I don’t have a camera. Too bad I can’t take pictures of the baby.

Tags: ,

Oh…my…gawd. Internet here is so s-l-o-w.

My brothers and sister just came back from the MSSPK competition today and I’m here to publish whatever findings I could wheedle out from my totally uncooperative siblings. I didn’t go there because I’m already a high school graduate so I can’t play (duh). Also, Pengkalan Hulu is friggin’ far from Kampar and my mother was having contractions every 10 minutes or so (signs of going to giving birth in case you didn’t know). Clearly my dad couldn’t go too (although I knew he wanted to…haha).

MSSPK for Perak this year was held in Pengkalan Hulu from the 15th to the 18th of February 2009. Four days of pure bliss with friends away from school I might add.

As far as I know, Kinta Selatan (my area) managed to clinch a pretty good place to stay. “Rumah rehat” would be how Yit Ho puts it. First thing that came to my mind were highway toilets. Eewww… But don’t worry. The Kinta Selatan team didn’t end up sleeping in toilets. It’s a kind of chalet or whatever. Anyway, according to him, the rooms were pretty satisfactory. At the very least, the place they slept was much more tolerable than some of the other teams. The food was bland though. Curry day in, day out. I pity those who cannot stand spiciness.

I tried my very best to squeeze the final results out of my siblings. Not easy mind you.

Anyway, these are the only names my hopeless brothers can remember. Thanks a lot! And thanks for the additional info too, Kay Lynn.

 U18 Boys

     1. Mark Siew
     2. Fong Yit Ho
     3. Eng Choon Guan
     4. Azzam
     5. Aderrence
     6. Chan Wei Minh

 U15 Boys

  1. Fong Yit San
  2. Ee Kong Yun
  3. Chong Kar Guan
  4. Azman
  5. Hafizi

 U18 Girls

  1. Munirah
  2. Wong Siew Ting
  3. Jia Minn
  4. Lina
  5. Christine
  6. Puteri Fariza

 U12 Girls

     1. Aina
       .
       .
       .
   18. Fong Mi Lyn 

Congrats to the champions and the qualifiers! Try your best in the upcoming selection! And do make sure you savour every moment now. Once you leave school, you won’t have the chance to play chess for school anymore. 

On the 4th of March till the 13th, Perak will be holding its final selection and training. If the training venue does not change (its currently decided to be held at Ipoh), there’s a possibility that I’ll go. I hope so! I won’t be able to see my friends for at least 3 whole months because of NS, so I better damn well be there.

p.s.: I know the final list is seriously incomplete. Sorry! I wasn’t there first hand to get the results.

Hey guys! Good news!

I’ll be able to update more regularly so I suppose I’ll be giving this site more attention before changing to another better site. The new site will probably be up and ready next year.

Oh my god. I’m such a super planner.

I suppose you’re wondering where on earth I’ve been for the past few months. Alright, alright, I’ll speak.

Actually, I haven’t been anywhere. It’s just that I didn’t have internet connection for some reason or another. Don’t ask. I don’t know how to answer that.

Moving on to what I did during my “summer holidays”, I was basically planning the whole big bad scheme of my life to take over the world. I’m already planning to write a best-selling book about my life story. No biggie.

Other than that, on more petty levels, because I’m so busy planning to take over the world, I had no time to think of getting a part-time job. Therefore, I don’t have a job. And I don’t need the job although I do need cash. But if I had a job, I’d have no time. So as you can see, I’m busy self-sabotaging myself.

I’ve also been flipping through piles and piles of godforsaken newspapers looking for potential college courses. Instead of being a little more enlightened, I’m as confused as ever. I’m just baffled, perplexed … how, for the sake of Merlin’s beard, do students manage to decide on what course to take? What if I wanted to take 2 or more courses?

Currently, I’m interested in computer science, information technology, and bussiness management. I’ve heard it’s possible to take 2 degrees, but what if they’re in 2 completely different fields of study? See my dilemma now?

On more earthly matters, my brothers and sister are now playing MSSPK chess in Pengkalan Hulu. All my chess friends together with “Kay Lynn the busybody” are there too. Omigosh… how I wish I could be there. My reasons for being unable to go are private and confidental, especially not for the faint hearted. Anyway, I can’t wait for Kay Lynn to call me. It seems she wants to tell me something important that has to do with my great scheme of life.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m immensely enjoying the wonderful boredom of life. I can just sit down and twiddle my toes all day long. Do you know how joyful that experience can be? Twiddle, twiddle, twiddle…aahh…

On the other end of the story, I’m immensely enjoying the sweat of my own hard labor. In other words, busy doing my chores. I’ve noticed my skin is still soft after all those errands. Hurray for me …

So as you can see, I desperately need something substantial to write about. But I think after my SPM results are out, I’d have tons to write about because that’s when the dawn of my new “young adult” stage will finally commence. I’ll have so much to do and so much to write, you’ll never hear of me twiddling my toes again. 

Oh yeah, my mum hasn’t given birth yet. When oh when is she going to pop? Too bad my camera was drowned by my 3-year old sister. If it were still alive, my blog would be jam-packed with pictures. And you would be able to see how my new sibling will look like! After National Service, I might get a new camera. We’ll see.

Anyway, I think by the time I write the next post, I’ll have a new sibling by then.

Ciao~!

P.s.: I’m terribly sorry for writing a ridiculous post like this. In dire situations, you’ve just got to whip something out of nothing.

Boo! Hahahaha…

I’m back, although for a brief moment. I’m quite fine and enjoying these few months before going bck to studying. Fast updates on my life:

  1. My mum’s going to give birth in a few days time!! I can’t wait to see my new sibling!
  2. I’ve got back my school magazine. It’s hilariously silly in a way. As i flipped through the pages, the faces of comittee members of clubs were mostly all the same! It’s like the magazine is only dedicated to that group of people. I suppose that’s how it is in a small school.
  3. I’m going for NS in a months time! yippee! Anybody here who’s in the second batch? Any idea how you’re going to go for scholarship interviews held during your ns stint?

uh…i suppose that’s it. Pretty pathetic eh?

Oh…for those going for MSSPK (siewting, jia min, maisarah, my bros, the guys etc.) GOOD LUCK!

To the ex-MSSPK team last year (kaykay, lawrence, firdaus etc.)…what to do..we’re old hags. LOL. kidding.

Alright, signing off! Try not to miss me! haha